0:00
Nut is once again the Nathan's hot dog
0:04
eating champion. And you may have seen
0:06
both Morazz and I claim proclaim that
0:10
he's not our hot dog champion. And
0:12
there's a reason for that. And I got a
0:15
over the weekend about why, what
0:17
happened, and also you're a loser. He's
0:20
a legend. He's an American hero. Let me
0:22
just give you the background. If you
0:24
don't know the background already, I've
0:26
talked about this before, but perhaps
0:28
you missed it. Perhaps you're new to the
0:29
show. Perhaps you haven't heard me tell
0:31
the story. Approximately 2016, we are
0:35
doing evenings on CBS Sports Radio. Joey
0:39
is going to be competing in the hot dog
0:43
I think it was 48 hours ahead of of us.
0:47
So, we were going to have him on a
0:48
Thursday. He was going to compete on a
0:51
Sunday, I believe, or a Saturday. There
0:52
was some time there. We were in contact
0:55
with his PR people and his PR people
0:58
said, "What would you like him to do?"
1:00
Now, they came to us and said, "Let us
1:04
know what what you want Joey to do." And
1:07
I said, "Great, Morazz. Let's cook up
1:09
something really creative and cool." I
1:11
knew he was not going to eat 30 hot dogs
1:14
on our airwaves. Not 48 hours ahead of
1:17
time before the competition. I was not
1:19
under any delusions he was gonna stuff
1:21
his gullet full of hot dogs because he
1:24
had a competition coming up. But I said,
1:25
"Let's make things more creative. Let's
1:28
have the listeners create the coolest,
1:32
most creative or unique toppings on a
1:36
hot dog. We'll get the condiments and
1:38
toppings and then Joey can be our taste
1:40
tester. Take one bite of three hot dogs
1:44
and let us know, hey, the hot dog king.
1:47
let so and so know your toppings are the
1:51
best toppings. This is a great
1:52
combination or this one stinks. I
1:55
thought it was a home run and the PR
1:58
people loved it. In fact, when they came
2:01
in with Matt Stony Megatode, who was
2:06
also in in tow, they brought in a
2:09
platter of 50 steamed hot dogs. They
2:13
wanted us to do something. They wanted
2:15
us to do hot dog stuff. Great. He gets
2:18
in there during commercial break. Hey,
2:21
we're going to do this. We're going to
2:24
Nope. What? Yep. Nope. I said, "Let's
2:29
hash this out of the air cuz we're going
2:31
live in about 30 seconds." We go live
2:34
and I say, "All right, Joey Chustin is
2:36
in. He's going to be competing. He's won
2:38
so and so number of championships in a
2:40
row. This guy's a living legend, etc.,
2:42
etc. Make sure you tune in to the
2:43
Nathan's Hot To eating contest. He's
2:44
here with Megato. This is going to be
2:48
we've got something for you. You are
2:53
hot dogs that our listeners help create
3:01
as though the dog refuses to to come in
3:07
yanking his chain, telling we got to go
3:09
in. It's time for bed. No, not doing it.
3:12
Shut down. Totally shut down.
3:15
I'm like, he goes, "I'm not eating hot
3:17
dogs." I said, "Joe, talk to your PR
3:21
people." And this was all on the air. I
3:23
said, "They said you're doing it. I
3:24
don't know what to tell you." He goes,
3:25
"I'm not doing it." It became the most
3:28
awkward segment I perhaps have ever done
3:31
And the PR people know they have blown
3:35
this because we have the paper trail.
3:38
And they're so humiliated.
3:41
And he starts rambling incoherently
3:44
about why he's not going to do it. He
3:46
would never eat hot dogs this close to
3:48
the competition. And he said, "What am
3:49
I, a trained monkey?" I said, "Not for
3:52
nothing, Joey, but what else? Why else
3:53
are you here? I mean, we're not here for
3:56
your take on whether the Seahawks can
3:58
repeat or not. What What else is there?
4:00
You're eating hot dogs. We're just going
4:02
to talk to you about your family
4:05
And he said, "I haven't eaten hot dogs
4:08
all day. I won't eat hot dogs." We said,
4:10
"You've done media all day and you were
4:12
on the air this morning on Sports Center
4:14
eating hot dogs. You're lying to us."
4:18
He was such a crank. He had been
4:20
apparently caught in traffic with PR
4:22
people from multiple media events. He
4:24
shut down. And because he shut down,
4:27
Megat was like, "I don't know what to
4:29
tell you. I can't do it either." Like
4:31
Joey dictated the the rules of
4:33
engagement for everybody. And we're
4:35
like, "Well, why are we here doing this?
4:38
You brought in 50 hot dogs. What? For
4:41
for me to stuff my face full of 50 hot
4:43
dogs. All you got to do is eat one bite
4:46
of three dogs. And I said, in fact, take
4:49
one bite of one hot dog. Stony, you can
4:52
take one bite of one hot dog. Morazz
4:54
will take one bite of one hot dog and
4:55
we're done here with the bit.
4:58
I mean, pulling teeth together to take
5:01
one bite of one hot dog. Oh, okay. All
5:06
right. Got it. and he just was a
5:11
stubborn crank. And now it was his last
5:13
media spot of the night. So perhaps it
5:15
was a long day, but hey, we're here to
5:17
promote the hot dog eating contest. We
5:19
got you brought in the hot dogs. Your
5:21
team has a plate of hot dogs. Just take
5:25
When all is said and done, it makes for
5:27
one of the worst segments of all time.
5:29
We say, "Fine, you're out of here. Go.
5:31
Goodbye. See you later." And from that
5:34
point on, we were all just so
5:37
disillusioned. Now Morz, Joey was his
5:39
hero. This is a fat kid that grew up
5:41
watching the Nathan's Hot Dogity
5:43
contest, wanting to be in it. Joey Chzn
5:45
was his hero. He goes, "I can't root for
5:47
that guy anymore. I can't." He's like,
5:49
"It's it's like seeing your hero." They
5:51
say, "Never meet your heroes." That was
5:55
Well, lo and behold, not only do we see
5:58
a guy like Badlands Booker come into the
6:00
studio year after year, come to the
6:02
Bob's Bar events, meet the listeners,
6:04
and the guy might not win the
6:05
championships, but boy, he was slugging
6:08
hot dogs 1520 a clip a night before the
6:13
competition. Now, maybe that's why he
6:14
didn't win, but neither here nor there.
6:16
That guy was there to perform. That guy
6:18
was there to be a good sport and
6:20
understand, hey, this is all kind of a
6:22
joke anyway. Let me just make sure I'm
6:25
here for the theater of it. Joey took
6:28
himself so seriously. Anyway, after
6:30
that, we just said, "Fine, you're banned
6:31
from the show. We're not going to have
6:32
you on anymore. We're not promoting you
6:33
anymore. We're not doing that. We'll
6:35
root for other people." As I've told the
6:38
story, you would be shocked how many
6:40
people behind the scenes of radio shows,
6:44
TV productions, or even the Nathan's Hot
6:47
Dog Eating Contest have whispered to me,
6:50
"We had the same situation."
6:52
Nobody goes public because he's such a
6:55
untouchable champion. I'm not scared. I
6:58
don't need Joey. I don't need him. We
7:00
got Badlands. I don't need him. So,
7:02
frankly, everybody else can whisper
7:04
behind the scenes about how difficult he
7:06
is. But then when he gets up on stage,
7:09
oh yeah, Joey, American hero. Oh my god,
7:11
what a legend. He's the goat. He's the
7:12
goat. I'm here to tell you the truth.
7:14
He's and people behind the scenes will
7:21
He's a diva. He's an egoomaniacal diva.
7:24
And it's like, dude, all you do is eat
7:26
hot dogs. Okay. I I don't know. You You
7:29
think you're Tom Brady? I mean, give me
7:31
a break. You eat hot dogs. You're a
7:33
disgusting pig that eats hot dogs. It's
7:35
all that this is. It's one giant comical
7:38
sideshow. To take yourself seriously,
7:39
let's get real around here. So, we He's
7:42
difficult. I'm not here for the
7:44
difficulty. He's not my hot dog
7:46
champion. That's that.