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Price Chopper Will Try to Get You Fired

This story has so many abstract details and plot twists, Inception’s screen play just tapped out with mercy.

My oatmeal brain has surmised this much:

1) Syracuse employee (and SUper fan) rips Price Chopper on Twitter, defends Wegman’s.

2) Price Chopper uses corporate ties with university to try and get employee fired.

3) Ploy blows up in PC’s face, supermarket chain is shamed, forced to apologize and spin damage control.

4) SUper fan goes on merry way.

5) Wegman’s still rules.

Everything else is just window dressing, but if you have time (like a day and a half) peruse this ridiculous story. For the record, I know the SUper fan in question. Jonathan Hoster was a fellow student at SU with me, a few years younger, we worked alongside each other at WAER on the student staff.

Hoster is a pretty decent human being. He wore ‘Cuse gear without fail every time I ever saw the guy. I mean, his Twitter profile reads: “Passions are education, Phillies, & Rita’s!” His passions include learning, a baseball team and f-ing margaritas. And he capitalized Rita’s. That’s the type of guy Hoster is.

Now, I haven’t spoken to Hoster in well over  a decade, so I have no idea what his end goal was in blasting Price Chopper via Tweet. To persuade some housewife to head over to Wegman’s after Zumba class to grab the 12-pack of Capri Sun?

You know, the Chopper is on my way home, but this guy’s right. That sign is just bush league. I’m heading over to Erie Blvd. It’s only a few minutes out of the way and it’s the principle of the matter!”

But I’m sure it wasn’t an attempt to tear apart the fabric of capitalism and subversively implode the CNY supermarket war. How douchey does Price Chopper end up looking in this mess? Somebody calls out your produce section and you’re looking to swing corporate big balls to get the guy fired? Hw insecure is Price Chopper about being the ugly red-headed, mentally-challenged step-sister of Wegman’s?

It’s an f-ing PRODUCE SECTION burn! He didn’t even break out the big guns and go after the butcher or beer selection. How did that conversation go anyway?

“Uh, yes Chancellor Cantor please. Hello, Nancy? Yeah, it’s Ameerah over at the Chopper. This Jonathan Hoster guy needs to be removed immediately from his position! He’s out of control! He’s killing our brand! Do you know he has over 300 followers?! We have a luxury suite at the Dome! And sometimes we use it! That basketball season payment may just show up a tad late Nance!”

Luckily, Hoster still has his job, his profile pic is still his face painted orange and he still has a burning desire for Ritas. Chopper has been forced to pathetically publicly apologize.

You know what? I always knew Chopper sucked. Hoster’s right. Wegman’s would never pull sh*t like this.

Posted: D.A.

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