In the words of Lou Gehrig,“Today, we consider ourselves the most ignorant culture on the face of the Earth.”
Wait? What? Oh that’s not what he said. But it is darn near what Jim Boeheim said about brackets with an expanded NCAA tournament.
The Per’fesser¬†did an interview with CNN yesterday advocating for a bigger NCAA tournament for the (millionth – billionth – fill in the blank) time and the last question he got was this:
“CNN: What about the millions of fans who would have to learn how to fill out the bigger brackets in their pools?”
Boeheim:¬†“If we’re going to do something based on the sheet, we’re the most ignorant culture on the face of the Earth.”
With all due respect to the greatest human being ever to walk said Earth, are you serious? That’s half the reason the tournament is so much fun.
The amount of joy derived from carrying around a crumpled up piece of paper in my back left pocket for weeks is incomparable. It makes me feel like a genius to beat out the nerds who study numbers for hours on end when I’ve mindlessly picked between an 8 and a 9 seed. It’s a traveling conversation starter for men and women everywhere from the train headed to work, the office, the classroom, and if you’re daring – the dinner table.
VIVA THE SHEET! The Fizz takes a stand today.
If we are going to do something based on the sheet, then so be it. Doesn’t the rest of the world already consider America the most ignorant culture on the face of the Earth? The¬†numbers in this case are staggering:
The FBI estimates that over $2.5 billion is gambled on the NCAA tournament, with only $80 million bet legally through sports books in Nevada. That leaves over $2.4 billion in funds gambled illegally.
That means that the amount of money illegally bet on the tournament is higher than the GDP of all but five countries (maybe).
We’re getting closer every day to¬†living in an idiocracy – there is no way we as a people could expand the bracket now.
It fits so perfectly on to one sheet of 8″ by 11″ paper and is the perfect symbol of my demonstration of sports knowledge (at least when I pick all the one seeds for the Final Four like I did last year) that it cannot change.
An expanded tournament may be better off for some, but for the majority of us – the sheet cannot be disrupted. Today my friends, let us stand together as the most ignorant (but basketball, betting, and cheap college beer loving) culture on the face of the Earth.
VIVA EL SHEET!
