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Now a Word from JP Morgan Chase

Posted: Ted Conroy

Ladies and gentlemen, JP Morgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon is coming to Syracuse University for commencement, and that’s the end of it.

Normally, I consider myself open to other opinions and views, but two things happened Friday that ruined my day. It ended any chance of sympathizing with the SU students protesting against a bank CEO.

The first, was when students decided to protest at Hendricks Chapel. You want to protest? Great. Go hold a silent rally.

However, someone decided that the idea of yelling and banging pots and pans together next to my office was a good idea.

I will inform you protesters of something: it’s Friday, and most students are hung over on campus. Do you expect them to empathize with your cause when they’re busy popping Motrin and wearing sunglasses to avoid sunlight?

The answer is no.

The second, and more Fizz-worthy reason is this: it’s been a while since the Butler sting. We had started to forget about it. We had moved forward with next basketball season. Until Jim freaking Cramer started talking about it.

You just want to open the wound again don’t you?

(Editor’s Note: Personally, it’s great to hear some CNBC hack blathering about sports. Stick to irresponsibly vowing for soon-to-be-bankrupt companies and their stocks, Jim. The Big East tanked in the tourney? Uh, West Virginia in the Final Four. Way to step way too far out of your wheelhouse.)

Listen, we here at The Fizz have a nose for risky business. When the Nappi deal went down for Ernie Davis Legends field, we looked into it, and took a lot of heat for it.

But this is a commencement speech. You won’t remember it in two years. Relax and pass the Motrin.

The Fizz is owned, edited and operated by Damon Amendolara. D.A. is an ’01 Syracuse graduate from the Newhouse School with a degree in Broadcast Journalism.

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