This weekend’s Syracuse regional has a lot of hype because of the four programs rolling into town. Cornell (local YEAH!), Kentucky (future NBA stars ooohhh!), Washington (uh, they have a guy named Isaiah Thomas?) and West Virginia (hey, we play them right?).
However, for the legions of us not fortunate enough to get a ticket to the Thursday-Saturday games, we will be forced to watch from places up and down Marshall Street, Armory Square and the rest of the city.
So here is your guide to spotting the fans of the four teams that will be in town this weekend:
Cornell: Sperrys a must. Will most likely be rocking some variation of the Conan O’Brien hairstyle and may very well resemble him too. Flannel shirts and courdoroys are highly likely, however not a necessity. Standard issue button down will do as well. Will reek of elitism and authority. Will actually possess neither trait.
Most likely to be seen: Ordering beers you’ve never heard of, not on tap anywhere, ever.
Kentucky: WATCH OUT FOR THIS MAN. If anyone can find Kige Ramsey of YouTube sports, please take a picture and send it to us. At least three pieces of blue clothing in every outfit. Fanny pack and sunglasses from 1994 are highly probable and tell tale signs of Southern residence. Jorts a must.
Most likely to be seen: Ordering a John Wall shot at the bar.
West Virginia: May appear to be happily married couples – they are merely brothers and sisters – do not be fooled. Canadian Tuxedo is considered appropriate attire for Mountaineer fans as it does include blue… and yellow depending on when it was last washed.
Most likely to be seen: Pitching a lean-to in the Carrier Dome parking lots. We don’t need no hotels!
Washington: Will be bundled up in a North Face expecting snow. “It doesn’t always snow in Syracuse?” They will also rock massive amounts of purple so they’ll be easy to spot. Occasionally will throw words like “hyphy” and “dank” into conversation.
Most likely to be seen: Getting angry last call is 2. “Dude it’s only like 11 o’clock where I’m from!”
Syracuse will be taken over for the weekend by fans from across the country, but hey, Salt Lake City has no idea what it’s in for either.