The Crunch is hardcore pimping Saturday’s Opening Night promotion: Jersey Shore’s J-Woww will attend a private meet and greet before the game and sign autographs at the first intermission.
Stop trying to figure out what the Jersey Shore and the AHL have to do with one another. It’s… uh… well… (in my best Jon Lovitz voice)… MARKETING!
Yeah, that’s the ticket.
The Fizz dialed up the Crunch ticket office to get the low-down on what this private meet-and-greet was all about.
If you want to avoid the (cough) crazy line that will accompany her autograph session, throw down either $250 for 10 tickets to the game or $500 for 20, and spend the pre-game in a room with J-Woww complete with food and a cash bar.
“It’s very exclusive. You can talk to her, get her autograph, take a picture with her. Then she goes out to do the ceremonial puck drop.”
I would imagine “ceremonial puck drop” will quickly become the next catchphrase for hooking up with a fat chick on Season 3.
Is J-Woww an ok chick? “Oh, yeah. She’s a cool girl. We have a co-worker ready to pick her up later today and she spoke with her. We’re really excited.”
Bless Lindsay Kramer’s heart. He actually was forced to “cover” this piece of news. (Not the game. The J-Woww angle two days before the game.) One could imagine how that conversation went.
“Lindsay, we need you on this Jersey Shore conference call.”
“What the hell did you just say?”
“Yeah, that J-Snook girl is gonna be at the Crunch game, so we need 300 words on it.”
“Wait, when is the game? And why don’t I just wait until she’s actually in town. She’s having a conference call? I’m really confused. Who are we talking about?”
“Just make sure you ask her about the Initiation. Or the Trepidation. Or whatever that guy’s name is with the six-pack.”
Hey, the Crunch play in a prehistoric barn, in a neighborhood you’d rather drive by real fast. So, stirring interest in minor league hockey in a college sports town on a day SU football opens the Big East season can be a grind. Sometimes you have to pay a reality star on minute-14 of her fame a few grand to make it work.
But the connection between the Jersey Shore and the Crunch is threadbare at best. Just look at Kramer’s “angles.” Would you say you ‘drop the gloves’ on the show? Are you a Devils fan since you’re from Jersey? Have you ever been to a hockey game?
The River Rats!? Yes! That’s the lead!
Welcome to life in the AHL. Too bad Sammi Sweetheart is hotter, Snooki is infinitely more famous and Angelina is way crazier. Then again, J-Woww’s boobs are really fake and isn’t that reason enough to get her autograph?