Orange Fizz


Source: Lebron to the Orange

Ladies and gentleman, LeBron James has forgone Cleveland, Miami, and NYC and will go to Syracuse University to play for Jim Boeheim.

“After weighing my options, talking with my family, and consulting my good friend Carmelo Anthony, I’ve decided to go to SU, which gives me the best chance at a championship,” said James at an ESPNU hour-long special, hosted at Club 44 in Syracuse.

The move instantly vaults the Orange to number-one in every preseason poll. James is a triple-double threat every time he steps on the court, and his charismatic nature may lure more recruits to the Salt City in hopes of playing with the one most call “The King.”

James turned down many other offers, and other opportunities, to sign with the ‘Cuse. The Miami Heat offered an already established duo of Chris Bosh and Dwayne Wade.¬†UConn had¬†an offer out to James that included a free cellular data plan, giving him unlimited text messages.

Gross beamed the entire time, saying “This is why we love college sports. The opportunity to sign a guy like Lebron has huge implications for the university and athletics department.”

Also suggesting these implications, SU’s department of Auxiliary Services announced that the Carrier Dome would be replaced by a 25,000 seat basketball arena, and a new 75,000 seat football stadium would be erected across from South Campus.

In a completely unrelated press release, Nike announced a renewed and expanded contract with the school worth about $1 billion.

Posted: Ted Conroy

The Fizz is owned, edited and operated by Damon Amendolara. D.A. is an ’01 Syracuse graduate from the Newhouse School with a degree in Broadcast Journalism.


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